


mirror mirror on the wall

by commanderofraccoons



Series: letters [1]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, Jealousy, Unbeta'd, Underage Drinking, about regina's condition post-bus, canon show dialogue slightly altered, if you're not comfortable with that, kind of, there's some graphic description
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 22:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderofraccoons/pseuds/commanderofraccoons
Summary: “Well,” Regina finally broke the silence. “I know you wanna laugh.” Her voice seemed about as unsteady as Janis’s hand reapplying her lipstick just a few minutes earlier. They never broke eye contact through the mirror, even as Regina turned off the spigot. “You were more talkative the last time we were in a room together.”orJanis is the one who finds Regina in the bathroom at Spring Fling, not Cady.





	mirror mirror on the wall

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from, but I'm also unhappy with it so that's sad. Go hard.

Her excessive drinking of the obviously spiked punch was doing nothing to help her makeup. Damian’s nose scrunched after glancing at her, pointed to her smeared lipstick, and sent her off to the _powder room_ with a slight push. And by that, he shoved her in the direction of the bottom floor girl’s bathroom.

 

Spring Fling, which Janis wouldn’t usually attend, was actually going decently, all things considered. Neither she or Damian were speaking to Cady, who she knew she’d have to talk to eventually, and one of their classmates had gotten hit by a bus.

 

Janis was toying with the notion if that was her fault or not.

 

Sure, she didn’t push her in front of it, and she didn’t run after her into the middle of the street, like Cady did, but her actions in the gym are what caused her to ultimately leave the building in the first place.

 

The bathroom was surprisingly empty, except for a sole pair of heels at the bottom of the stall door. Janis paid them no mind; she’d hopefully make this quick, avoiding having to make small talk with anyone. Using the large mirror in front of her, she touched up her dark lipstick with an unsteady hand, the alcohol already taking some sort of effect on her. She heard the toilet flush and the sound of the seat slamming from behind her, causing Janis to inwardly curse and slide her tube of lipstick back into her suit pocket. There was no way she would be able sneak out before the person saw her, especially since the stall door was already unlocking. It’s fine— maybe it would be Sonja, or Lizzie, or one of the few females in her class she actually tolerated, and hopefully not Cady breaking into Spring Fling.

 

But it was none of those people. For the brief moment she sent up a silent thank you to anyone listening that it _wasn’t_ Cady, she took it back. Watching the reflection in the mirror, Janis saw Regina George, donning an intense-looking spinal halo, struggling to shut the stall door she’d just opened. The last time she’d seen her, she was unmoving and covered in her own blood.

 

She couldn’t stop staring at her through the mirror, and as soon as Regina shut the door enough to appease herself, Janis finally saw her face. The bruises on her cheeks had healed considerably, leaving behind a yellow sort of tint to the girl’s skin. Regina didn’t notice she was there at first, and Janis considered making a break for it; it’s not like she could possibly turn her head in that contraption, and she doubted Regina George would’ve even went after her if she had a fully functional spine.

 

Janis’s morbid curiosity kept her in place, though, and as soon as Regina reached a sink, their eyes met through the mirror’s reflection. She expected Regina to stop in her tracks, maybe threaten Janis into leaving the bathroom, but she kept eye contact with her and ran her hands under the stream of water. The music from Spring Fling was muffled through the walls, but it offered the only real comforting background noise; Janis didn’t even realize she was holding her breath.

 

“Well,” Regina finally broke the silence. “I know you wanna laugh.” Her voice seemed about as unsteady as Janis’s hand reapplying her lipstick just a few minutes earlier. They never broke eye contact through the mirror, even as Regina turned off the spigot. “You were more talkative the last time we were in a room together.”

 

And there it was. The blonde elephant wearing a spinal halo. She apparently wanted to talk about this right now? It’s not like their last attempt had a very good outcome.

 

“Janis, I’m going to forgive you because I’m on a lot of pain medication right now,” Regina practically slurred as she placed a pink bow on one of the straps of her spinal halo, missing her hair completely. “If you want an honest answer out of me about anything, this would probably be your time to do it.”

 

Janis was buzzed, and Regina was high on her pain medication. The combination of the two could be deadly, especially with Regina’s almost insistence that they speak about their past problems. She could just leave, really, but what would that solve? They still had another year of high school left together, and Janis couldn’t very well spend it laying low from Regina George. If anything, her eventual reunion with Cady would make her face all of this with Regina head-on.

 

“How did you know I was gay before I did?”

 

That evidently wasn’t what Regina was expecting her to say, or maybe she didn’t think that was what Janis would start with, her mouth opening slightly in surprise. She half-heartedly schooled her expression, the drugs most likely hindering her usually perfected skill.

 

“I didn’t,” she spoke softly, reaching up to pull off a paper towel from the dispenser. It was the first time Regina looked away from her for their entire conversation. “So, you _are_ gay?”

 

Janis blinked a few times at that and vaguely wondered if whatever Regina’s dose of pills were caused memory loss.

 

“I’ve just never heard you actually say it yourself.” She must’ve realized the question threw Janis off, and instead of just turning her head to face her, Regina had to shift her entire body toward her.

 

Janis felt a stab of guilt when she realized she _couldn’t_ just turn her head.

 

“Yeah, I am,” Janis mumbled, and the immediate shame that came from admitting that to Regina George’s face was begging her to just run from the bathroom. Instead, she turned on her heel to face Regina, since the other girl had apparently tired of using the mirror.

 

“I mean, I follow you on Instagram,” Regina mumbled, sounding a little sheepish as she threw the balled up paper towel into the hole on top of the counter. “There’s that girl you post with sometimes. I don’t recognize her, but in, like, all of your pictures with her, she’s only wearing a bra. Gretchen kinda just assumed she was your girlfriend?” There was something odd about Regina’s tone that Janis couldn’t pinpoint. She seemed almost hesitant to ask, as if afraid of Janis’s reaction. Or her answer.

 

Janis _did_ realize that Regina followed her on Instagram; her few followers made it easy to see, and though she thought it was just because Regina never took the time to unfollow her from before, Damian believed it was something else. Who knew Regina was actually looking at what she posted, let alone analyzing it with other people? It’s not like she ever liked or commented.

 

“Are you talking about Ashley?” She had no idea how their conversation had gotten so far off track; was this really what Regina wanted to ask her? “She plays Janet at the local Rocky Horror theater.” Regina simply stared back at her blankly before Janis realized that she probably didn’t know what that meant. “Damian and I go every month. The bra’s part of her costume, and she’s definitely not my girlfriend.”

 

“Oh.” She didn’t react much to that, instead pulling off another paper towel from the dispenser and distractedly scrubbing it against a puddle on the counter. “I kinda thought it was, like, your own way of coming out. Like the way you wanted to.” Her voice had dropped soft enough that Janis could barely hear it over the music down the hall.

 

Janis’s jaw clenched, and she let out a shaky breath. She’s talked about this with Damian numerous times— even brought in a clueless homeschooled student to help her orchestrate spying and taking revenge on Regina. Which, when she actually thought about it, made her understand that she wasn’t completely blameless after all. Screaming at this girl would do nothing to help their situation, except dig them both deeper into a hole. “No, you took that away from me.”

 

Regina looked back up at her, balling up the drenched paper towel in her hand. Janis couldn’t read her expression as she dropped it into the garbage from a foot above, never breaking her gaze. “I’ve never apologized, have I? Not really.”

 

“Not _really_?” She scoffed. “This is the longest conversation we’ve had since. When would you have apologized?”

 

“I wrote you a letter once,” Regina admitted, resting her right hand on the now dry spot on the counter. “During Sophomore year. My plan was to sneak it into your locker.”

 

“I never got a letter.”

 

Regina tried to shake her head, wincing when she realized she couldn’t. “You wouldn’t have. I still have it in my room.”

 

“It was an apology letter?” Regina attempted a nod. “Why didn’t you give it to me?”

 

“I wrote why I did it in there, and I was worried that someone else would find it, or maybe you’d show everyone.” She seemed uncomfortable, nervously running her hand along the countertop.

 

“Why did you do it?” Janis felt her chest constrict a bit and bit her bottom lip, likely smudging the newly applied lipstick.

 

“I, uh,” she dropped her gaze, taking an interest in the ground below the sinks. “What if I bring you the letter on Monday?” Regina asked, a bit of relief washing over her features at the thought. “It’s probably better worded in there than what I could say to you now.”

 

Janis mulled it over for a moment, taking in Regina’s uncharacteristic behavior. Whatever was in that letter made Regina uneasy, and though Janis was dying to know why she outed her, another few days wouldn’t kill her. She’d already gone this long.

 

“I don’t know what your reason is, but it doesn’t justify it.”

 

Regina caught her eye again, seemingly trying to express how serious she was trying to be. “No, I know, but it says why. After everything that happened… well, I figured you deserved to know.”

 

Janis finally nodded, and Regina seemed to breathe a little easier.

 

“So,” Regina started again after a moment, “Cady?”

 

That one was inevitable, especially after the events in the gym. Now the spotlight was directly aimed at her, and she couldn’t help but wish she could bring Regina’s past up again instead.

 

“I didn’t intend for this to happen to you.” Janis motioned toward her with her hand, silently referring to her injury.

 

“And I didn’t intend for you to be pulled out of school.”

 

She stopped, a bit surprised Regina was even still mentioning this. Didn’t she just bring up Cady? Wasn’t that what they were going to discuss?

 

“I think that really put into perspective what I did to you. I remember coming to school a few days later, and your new locker was completely empty.” Regina shut her eyes for a long moment before slowly opening them again. “Even when you came back to school the next year, I was more relieved than anything. You… you looked a lot different, and that was surprising, but you were _back_ , and that’s what mattered.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?”

 

“I don’t blame you for what you did to me.” She sighed.

 

“Wait, wh-“

 

Regina held up a hand. “You were the only one who could ever keep up with me. The only one out of all of our friends to keep me on my toes,” she interrupted, apparently trying to say whatever came to her drug-addled mind.

 

_Our_ friends? Was Regina’s medicine causing her to jump all over the place, or was Janis’s buzz already this strong?

 

”What I’m saying, and I’m not sure you’re gonna like this, but you can tell we were best friends once.” Regina shrugged. “It was a really good plan, and I had no fucking clue it was even happening.”

 

Janis could feel her brows furrow, the shock of what Regina was saying already sinking in. “You’re seriously not mad?”

 

“I know your reasoning, and, like me, maybe that doesn’t justify it. But what happened to me isn’t your fault.” They both fell silent, and Janis worried that she should reply before Regina changed the topic. “Did watching it make you feel better?”

 

She knew immediately what the girl was referring to, and Janis felt herself swallow harshly. Regina’s tone didn’t seem malicious, instead more questioning than anything. As if she were just genuinely curious. “No.”

 

Regina must’ve accepted that as a suitable answer, turning away from her to face the mirror again.

 

“You know I died for fifteen seconds, right?” She chuckled humorlessly, holding out her left arm toward Janis. “Spoiler alert, heaven looks like a _really_ nice hotel in Miami.”

 

She did hear that, and the thought of her actions possibly _killing_ a person, killing Regina, terrified her. Their eighth grade drama wasn’t worth losing lives over, even Janis could admit that.

 

“When I woke up in the street,” Her tone seemed lofty, almost as if she were reliving what she was saying. “All I could see was my mom’s face and Gretchen’s big face looking down at me.” Janis lifted an eyebrow at that and held in a snort. “And they looked so surprised. Not even sad, just, like, surprised that I could be bleeding. Like they forgot I was a human person. I’ve… actually been a human person this whole time.”

 

Janis was among those who viewed Regina that way. After eighth grade, she seemed indestructible, like no one could touch or bring her down. But Janis had also been there during the bus incident. She could barely make out the yellow blur flying by before Regina was on the ground, very clearly battered and bruised. The girls, and Damian, who carried her from the gym were behind her, and none of them were able to move from the scene. Regina woke up groaning and had attempted to point to her back when the sobs kicked in; Janis pushed down her nausea at the sight. Regina would’ve _never_ cried in front of them, let alone in public, but the pain must’ve been too unbearable to remember her facade. The ambulance arrived moments after that— who knew who called them— and Janis was relieved she wouldn’t have to watch anymore.

 

“It’s amazing when people treat you like that.” Regina gave a small smile. “Until it’s not.”

 

Janis stayed silent, trying not remember Regina’s screams as they lifted her into the ambulance on a specialized back trauma stretcher.

 

“I know I have to change.” She dropped her hand from the counter, holding her bedazzled clutch to her chest. “I know I was harsh, and people say I’m a bitch, but you know what they would call me if I was a boy?”

 

Janis thought for a moment what Regina was referring to before she broke into a smile. “Reginald. After your dad.”

 

Regina genuinely laughed, a bright grin forming on her lips. “Yeah, Jan, you’d probably be the only one to guess that right.”

 

It’d been a while since she heard that nickname; no one else had ever used it but her. “I really am sorry, though. About the bus.”

 

She appeared almost offended at that, taking a step forward toward Janis. “Not your fault. Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault, and never apologize for being a boss.” Regina’s smile noticeably dampened. “Eighth grade? I know that was my fault, and I’m sorry. Consider this the first apology of many.”

 

Regina started moving closer but went around her, and Janis worried she was going to leave the restroom. Ten minutes ago, she would’ve begged for that. The girl only moved in front of one of the cleaner mirrors, taking out her own lipstick to reapply it.

 

“I thought you already had this down, but I guess you don’t. If you’re gonna be happy in life, Janis, you have to not care what people say about you. Like, truly, not care.” She pressed it against her lips, applying another fresh coat when there was nothing off in the first place. “That’s what I keep trying to tell the president on twitter, but he blocked me.”

 

Janis’s eyes widened in surprise, and Regina started laughing the same time she did.

 

“Not a fan?”

 

“Everything I know about politics, I learned from my old best friend.”

 

Janis hoped her heavy makeup would cover the heat rising in her cheeks.

 

“One more thing, Jan?” Regina had put away her lipstick back into her clutch and was within reaching distance now. “I kinda wish you were up there in Cady’s place. It’s not like she can be here now, right?” She reached out and grabbed the lapels of her suit jacket. “If we had stayed friends, you would’ve been.” Her hands dropped a little, and Janis felt all the breath leave her body. “You would still make such a hot queen.”

 

Janis opened her mouth to respond to that but found herself at a loss for words. Regina hadn’t touched her since eighth grade, and the close contact was causing her brain to short circuit. The bracelet on Regina’s right wrist hit the light, and she refrained from closing her eyes at the glare. She leaned closer, and Janis panicked that she was moving in to kiss her. Turning at the last possible second, she went for her ear instead.

 

“I’ll bring the letter on Monday, okay?” Regina backed away then, dropping her grip on Janis’s suit. She pressed her pointer and middle fingers against her lips before placing them against Janis’s, and Regina smirked. For what felt like an eternity, Regina’s fingers remained firmly in the center of her lips, and Janis felt herself swallow harshly. It couldn’t have been for more than a few seconds, but a smug-looking Regina pulled back, the tips of her fingers covered in purple lipstick. “Love ya.” Regina turned away from her and slowly made her way to the exit. She paused in front of the door, holding up her hand, seemingly giving her a peace sign. “You should probably touch that up.” Wiggling her fingers, Regina pulled the bathroom door open, and let it slam behind her.

 

It wasn’t until Monday morning when Regina George handed her a pink envelope did Janis realize their conversation wasn’t a product of the alcohol.

  


**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos and maybe come talk to me: kleksuh.tumblr.com


End file.
